That time I got reincarnated as a clown
by DolphinLover420
Summary: Getting inserted into the One Piece universe is every fan's wet dream, but what happens when things don't quite go the way you planned? All of a sudden, you're sporting a giant red nose and unable to be chopped up. Whatever shall Buggy the Clown do?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello dear readers! I would like to begin this author's note by saying that this is heavily inspired by the absolute masterpiece of fanfiction that is This Bites! Seriously, the people writing that thing are actual legends. They inspired me to take a stab at my own One Piece self-insert, but just as I began to plan it out, I came across another incredible fic called Marie D. Suesse and the Mystery New Pirate Age! After reading and enjoying such a great piece of writing, I didn't have the heart to write a self-insert because I realised that it would be mediocre at best with nothing original. But then, I had an idea on how I could set this fic apart from the many others of its type. And I'm quite confident in saying that what I want to do is not something that many, if any, other writers on this site have done before. **

**Also, I want to add that the way I write will involve short descriptions for characters and places, since I have trouble wording them well, and I figure that you already know what they look like anyway.**

Life took many turns as one progressed through it. This was an undeniable fact, and it was simply part of the great adventure. What was not a part of the great adventure was life rotating three hundred and sixty degrees then shooting back at Mach 10 and dropping you in the ocean.

That analogy was quite confusing, but it was the best that our handsome and valiant protagonist could come up with as he took in the situation that he was in.

The situation being that he was fucking Buggy the Clown from One Piece.

No, not like that. He had _become _Buggy.

And he was currently standing in front of a crowd of pirates, staring at Monkey D. Luffy as he was trapped in a stock. The rubber man had a confused expression as he stared at the clown, "This is the first time I've seen an execution." He remarked in a casual voice, completely undisturbed by his situation.

Buggy, his mind still blank due to the shock of the situation he was in, felt the blankness being erased by a powerful sense of terror. He understood how Bartolomeo had been inspired, and how almost every enemy in the series had underestimated Luffy:

He was a man too stupid to know fear.

Throwing a nervous glance to the crowd before the stand, Buggy saw how they all stared at him with expectations in their eyes. He knew what those expectations were, and on the inside he was screaming and crying because he also knew what would happen if he tried to meet them.

His mind had finally begun to kick into high gear as he came to terms with the situation he was in, and a fighting spirit forced it to figure out how he could escape. He was kicking himself inside, trying to remember exactly what had happened here in the story.

Execution… Pirate King… Storm! Just as Luffy's head was about be chopped off, a freakish storm had blown in and a bolt of lightning had destroyed the stand.

A plan formed in his mind, and Buggy looked at Luffy with resolve, "You're the one being executed!" He informed him.

In response, Luffy's confusion turned to shock, "WHAT?!" He exclaimed, eyes widening.

"Do you have any last words, Straw Hat?" Buggy asked jeeringly.

Staring at the crowd before him, and as if possessed by the spirit of who he was about to reference, a defiant expression formed on Luffy's face, "I'M THE MAN," He roared, "WHO'LL BECOME THE PIRATE KING!"

As that absurd declaration echoed throughout the town, the onlookers stared at Luffy with a combination of admiration and outrage. Buggy, on the other hand, chose to toss his sword towards the pirates and unlock Luffy, heaving the top of the stock up.

"Then this is no time for you to die!" He roared triumphantly, pointing his finger towards the pirates. As he spoke the last syllable, a magnificent bolt of lightning struck the sword he had thrown, badly shocking the majority of the pirates. As they laid on the ground, twitching in pain, winds and rain began to make their presence known. Drenching and almost toppling everyone there.

Luffy's expression of defiance and determination turned back to confusion as he stood up and stared at Buggy, "Why'd you free me? Aren't we supposed to be enemies?"

Buggy hesitated, trying to figure out what he could say that would convince Luffy to join him. While the man was an idiot, he was an idiot with strong ideals. "I SAILED THE GRAND LINE WITH THE PIRATE KING HIMSELF!" He roared to both Luffy and the shocked (both figuratively and literally) crowd, "AND I WANT TO SAIL THE GRAND LINE WITH THE NEXT ONE AS WELL!" He looked at the pirates who, up until now, he had been the captain of, "ALVIDA, CABAJI, I TRUST YOU TWO TO LEAD THE BUGGY PIRATES!"

The aforementioned two stared up at Buggy, left speechless by the sudden, unexplainable shift in attitude.

Luffy blinked, rubbing the back of his head with a grin on his face, "Well if that's what you want, sure!"

On the inside, Buggy breathed a sigh of relief as the most stressful part of his plan was now complete. Now, he just had to keep himself alive and let the Straw Hats do the rest.

As if on cue, Roronoa Zoro and 'Black Leg' Sanji ran up to the execution stand, and a powerful kick from Sanji was all it took to send the entire thing crashing down to the ground.

Grinning his signature Monkey D. grin, Luffy pointed to Buggy, who was laying dazed among the wreckage of the stand, "Zoro, Sanji, meet our new crewmate!"

The responses of the two contrasted greatly. While Sanji was apathetic, simply shrugging and trying to light a cigarette in the downpour, Zoro scowled and clenched his swords tighter. Evidently, he hadn't forgotten the injuries dealt to him by Buggy's floating hand.

Sanji looked around, before remarking, "We better hurry, Nami-swan told us to be back at the Merry as soon as we could."

Luffy nodded and looked at Buggy, "Follow us! The Merry's our ship!" He instructed cheerfully, right before taking off towards the streets at high speed.

As Buggy blinked, Sanji turned to him and chuckled, "Welcome to the Straw Hats." He remarked right before taking off after his rubbery captain, closely followed by Zoro.

* * *

There are three things that cannot be stopped: Inherited will, the destiny of an age, and the dreams of its people.

The Pirate King, Gol D. Roger, had once declared that as long as people continue to pursue the meaning of freedom, those things will never cease to be.

And indeed, there was one man who fought in the pursuit of freedom harder than any other. Standing inhumanly tall, the left side of his face marked with red as he grinned confidently, Monkey D. Dragon stood alone in Loguetown as the wind and rain roared all around him. Paying it no mind, he stared dead ahead and muttered to himself, "A pirate? That's fine, too…"

His every step oozing strength, of both the body and the mind, he walked through the forces of Mother Nature, as though it were a calm, sunny day. Though his eyes remained focused ahead, he could feel all around the entire town. Around the entire island, even. This feeling, a result of a natural phenomenon every human possessed, alerted him to every person in the town's location. Mostly, there were just fleeing civilians, subdued pirates and marine soldiers running around. However, among the people, there were a select few of interest.

A former cabin boy for the King himself, the son of Red-Hair's sniper, an East Blue swordsman who had fought Hawk-Eyes and lived to tell the tale, a Vinsmoke, and of course, his own flesh-and-blood son.

There also seemed to be a marine captain engaged in conflict with his son. A Logia, of all things, though his use of the ability, the smoke-smoke fruit, was quite basic. Though his son may use his own fruit, the gum-gum fruit, with much more skill and creativity, it did not change the fact that he lacked haki, leaving him unable to damage the smoking captain. The situation was the same for the Vinsmoke, the swordsman and the former cabin boy, who all found themselves outmatched. Although the swordsman seemed preoccupied with another of his kind, a woman. Dragon could tell that she was a talented marine, and impressive by East Blue standards, but ultimately outmatched by the pirate.

On the other hand, the Marine Captain had already subdued Luffy, pinning him to the ground. Dragon sighed, he couldn't allow the journey to end so early. He prepared to use one of the six powers, the one known as shave, to go aid Luffy in his fight, when something caught his eye; the cabin boy, who had previously been standing away from the action, intended to act. It was his intent to act that brought a very interesting piece of information to Dragon's mind: His hands weren't attached to his body. Rather, the cabin boy must have eaten some sort of devil fruit, likely the chop-chop one. These hands that despite having been severed, continued to act, had moved in opposite directions. One of them was placed near the Marine Captain, while the other was near a group of Marine soldiers.

The most wanted man in the world developed an expression of intrigue, and used shave to appear on a nearby roof so that he could observe the conflict from a distance. He really wanted to see what a member of the King's crew would do to mere East Blue soldiers.

As if cued by Dragon's appearance, Buggy's hands sprang into action. The one near the marines flew at one soldier's face as a fist, temporarily stunning him and allowing it to steal his rifle. At the same time, his other hand, the left one, flew towards Smoker from behind and snatched his seastone Jutte off his back, quickly poking him with it so as to force him into a physical form. Along with becoming vulnerable to attack, his strength disappeared, along the rubber man held beneath him to knock him off and flee. As the surprised and weakened captain was falling to the ground, the cabin boy's right hand, still holding the rifle, shot him in the side. Of course, he was no sniper, so it just grazed him, but in his already weakened state, it may as well have hit him between the legs.

Dragon couldn't but grin. Seeing not just an arrogant logia, but a Marine Captain, get such a painful reality check was always fun. To add insult to the injury, a mighty gust of wind, like the wrath of god itself, blew in and sent the marines flying. A smile formed on the Revolutionary Leader's face as his son and his crewmates escaped to their ship and hastily set sail.

* * *

Buggy cried out as a slender but powerful fist slammed into his skull.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, RECRUITING THIS CLOWN?!" The orange-haired navigator for the Straw Hats, Nami, roared over the storm, glaring murderously at Luffy.

In response, the captain simply stuck a finger up his nose and stared at her blankly, "His power is kinda cool, and he asked to join. If he was friends with Shanks, I'm sure he's fine." He said casually, looking down at said clown.

Taking this as his cue to toss in his two cents, Buggy quickly adopted a kneeling position with his head rested against the deck of the ship, "Please forgive me," He begged "I'm so, so very sorry for what I have done in the past. I just wish to help your captain achieve his goal. I-I have a lot of experience with the Grand Line, and with the New World! I could help you reach your goal much more easily!"

In response, the long-nosed sniper Usopp, who had previously stayed quiet, pointed his thumb to his puffed-out chest proudly, "We don't need your help!" He declared firmly "I sailed the entire Grand Line when I was just a boy!"

Buggy knew it was a lie. The sniper's most well-known character trait was lying, after all. "Oh! So does that mean you managed to get a log pose during your adventures?" He inquired, looking up and doing his best to feign curiosity. His acting must have been good enough, since all five of the other Straw Hats blinked and looked confused, though it was hard to tell with Luffy and Zoro, since there was barely a change in expression. As they hadn't spoken up, Buggy decided to keep talking, "You know? The special compass that you need to navigate the Grand Line without dying?"

Immediately upon saying that, Nami blanched, "What would happen if we didn't have a log pose?"

Buggy fought to keep his surprised expression from turning to a grin as he replied, "Well, because of how the islands all emit their own magnetic fields, or something, I don't remember the exact details, a regular compass is unable to point north accurately. A log pose works by locking onto one island's magnetic field, and then once it's been on that island for a certain amount of time, it updates and points to the next island. Eventually by following the trail, you'll reach Raftel, where the One Piece is hidden."

Letting out a sigh, Nami crossed her arms, "Fine. I'll admit that I was unprepared for the Grand Line. And maybe if you keep helping out, I'll accept you as a member of the crew." She relented with an annoyed tone.

Now that the timing was appropriate, Buggy allowed a wide grin to form on his face, "Thank you! I promise that as long as you have me on the crew, sailing the Grand Line will be a breeze!" He declared, standing up and crossing his arms defiantly, "I even know where you can get a log pose, possibly for free!"

Upon hearing the last word of his sentence, Nami's eyes gleamed greedily. Usopp looked around at the stormy situation around them and quivered slightly, "D-Don't you guys think that entering the Grand Line in the midst of this storm is a bit-" His worries were cut off by Sanji merrily placing a barrel down on the deck.

"So, we've reached the Grand Line, have we? Well this calls for celebration!" He declared cheerfully as he placed one foot on the barrel, "To find All Blue." He stated. Whether it was a reminder to himself before launching into the hardest part of the journey, a declaration to the world of his dreams, or simply a reminder for his crew was unknown, though the rest of the crew seemed to take this as a sign to do the same thing.

"To become the Pirate King!"

"To be the greatest swordsman…"

"To draw a map of the world!"

"T… T-To become a brave warrior of the seas!"

With each member having declared their dreams with such conviction and ferocity, Buggy couldn't help but be awed seeing the moment make its way from paper and ink to real life, or as real as you could get in another world. He was confused though, as the 'Off to the Grand Line we go!' part was not uttered. He was more confused to see the five pirates look at him expectedly.

"Well? Aren't you gonna join in?" Luffy asked, looking at him confusedly.

His eyes widened slightly, and Buggy quickly walked over and placed his foot on the barrel with theirs, between Zoro and Usopp's. His eyes widened on the inside too, as he realised he had no idea what exactly his 'dream' was supposed to be. He didn't want to say something that would anger Luffy and get him kicked off, or something that would make Zoro and Sanji kick his ass. Shit… what could his dream be?

"TO DEFEAT THE THREE ADMIRALS!" He screamed, both on the inside and the outside. Why the hell had he said that?! He was Buggy the frigging Clown, for goodness' sake! He couldn't beat a Vice Admiral, let alone one of the three men who _acted as a counter to the emperors themselves_, _**let alone all three of them**_.

With each member of the crew having said his or her piece, they yelled out joyfully together, "Off to the Grand Line we go!", not realising the hell that awaited them.

**Please write any comments or criticism in the reviews below! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed or favourited this story! Thanks especially to the reviewers. I'll do my best to consider what you say as I push ahead with the story.**

In his past-life, Buggy had experienced many emotions. One of those emotions was anger, happening whenever he lost a bet, be it on a sporting event, or a simple dare with one of his friends. The second one was the one that happened more often, as his parents had exerted themselves heavily trying to make sure he didn't get a gambling addiction. They tried to keep him from getting a lot of addictions, actually, because they were good parents. He remembered one time they had moved across the county just because someone in their town got caught dealing weed.

… The 'good' part was subjective, but they were still his parents. His mother and father who birthed him and raised him and loved him because he had been their son. They made the same sacrifices as other parents, and they made damned sure that he lived a good life. It was weird though, despite the fact that he loved them, he felt oddly… calm about the possibility that he was never going to see them again?

But back to anger, Buggy had experience with anger. He had experience with frustration. He had experience dealing with little children. He had dealt with the whiners and the criers and the stealers and the liars, and he had become a patient person.

No emotion of frustration or anger had ever been as strong as that which he felt at the moment. The frustration of trying to explain any sort of Grand Line information to Monkey D. Luffy.

"Okay, so basically there are three great powers that preserve a balance within the Grand Line. First, you have the three Marine Admirals, and all the Marines working under them and you aren't even listening…" Buggy trailed off as he saw Luffy sleeping on the figurehead.

Biting back a flurry of curses better suited to be said by the navigator, he walked over and flicked one of the rubber-man's ears. The effect was instantaneous as Luffy jolted awake and sat up, glaring at the person who had flicked him, "What the hell was that for? Meanie…" He grumbled.

"I'm _trying_ to explain the most important aspects of the world to you! If you don't learn this, you'll never make it in the Grand Line!" Buggy roared angrily, before frowning, "And how the hell did you even fall asleep in this sto-" He was about to say 'storm', before promptly realising that the weather was sunny and _calm_. As calm as it had been during a certain moment from the story. A certain moment that, even limited by pen and paper, had still been quietly terrifying.

The small panic attack the clown was having was rather rudely interrupted by a certain orange-haired navigator choosing to run onto the deck and begin screaming orders at the three other guys who Buggy was just now noticing were also on the deck. Zoro was, just like in the story, being dismissive of Nami's concerns, instead choosing to remark about how the weather was so nice.

All that were missing were the dozens upon dozens of Sea Kings.

…

Ask and ye shall receive.

One thing that Buggy had been thinking about for the last few hours, ever since he arrived in this world, was how weird Oda's art looked when in real life. For one, those typical manga moments of open mouths becoming larger than a person's head didn't quite translate, and their jaws acted the way they would if they were anatomically correct.

Most of the Straw Hats had looked quite odd too. Nami's… body, just like with every other woman in the series, was something unattainable in real life. It was a bizarre mixture of arousing and grotesque, seeing her proportion as they would appear on a real woman.

Usopp, for the most part, was a normal guy. As one would expect however, his nose was quite out of place. Buggy couldn't even imagine how weird Kaku's would look… Just like in the art, it was long, round and straight. It wasn't big like some noses you might see in real life, most of it being about the same size as everyone else's. What happened was that the tip (or whatever it was called), extended out, a good ten to fifteen centimetres from the rest of the nose.

Zoro was basically a normal looking, if impressively built, man. But what Oda had never truly showed the audience was how scarred he was. It was to be expected, with him being a swordsman and fighting so many enemies. It would probably have been too time consuming to have made the scars visible, so it made sense that his skin had seemed unblemished in the manga. The green hair was also an odd sight, especially since it was completely natural.

Sanji appeared much more normal compared to the other member of the crew, though the swirly eyebrow was a little odd. Upon further inspection, it was also clear that his legs were significantly more muscular than his arms, though that wasn't really that abnormal.

Luffy took the cake for looking weird, though. Another thing that couldn't really be conveyed through Oda's art was what a rubber-man looked like. His skin was impossibly smooth and fair, to the point where it didn't even seem like skin.

So in short, Oda, despite being one of the greatest mangaka, had ultimately failed to truly convey certain things to his readers through his art. One of those things he had failed to convey, though not from lack of trying, was how bone-chillingly _terrifying_ the Sea Kings were. To put it into scale, their eyes were about half the size of the boat the Straw Hats were sailing on. While they might appear more cartoony and passive on paper, it was the direct opposite in person.

Words could not truly express the emotions caused by the presence of the aquatic behemoths. It was as if the word 'RUN' was being branded into Buggy's brain with a branding iron. The Sea Kings may as well have had conqueror's haki, from the way that every one of them was frozen in fear, apart from Usopp, who had collapsed with foam bubbling from his mouth.

In one single second, the once boisterous crew of the Straw Hats had the fear of god hammered into their souls, and they weren't even in the Grand Line yet.

"This place is a den…" Nami sobbed, clutching the mast, "For Sea Kings… The big ones especially…"

Luckily for the lives and sanity of the crew, the Sea Kings dispersed as quickly as they had arrived. Most of them began to dive back down into the depths of the ocean, and the monster trio gripped the oars of the boat tightly, their whole bodies tensed as they watched the Sea King that the Merry was currently perched on.

"Alright… as soon as this thing dives back down into the sea, start rowing your arms off, got it?!" Zoro instructed nervously, with Sanji and Luffy both responding with an "Aye aye!"

But the titan of the sea did not dive back down. Rather, it bucked its head and sent the ship hurtling away, the same way a person might brush some lint off their clothes. As the Merry flew through the air, the Straw Hats found themselves flying with it. Most of them managed to grab onto the ship, but Usopp and Buggy weren't so lucky.

The thing about the chop-chop fruit is that it's primarily a defensive fruit. It allows the user to separate their body, thus making them immune to any sort of blade. If the user was quick-thinking, it could also be used to avoid bullets, melee attacks, and even a lot of devil fruit attacks. 'Thinking' being the key word there, as with those sort of attacks, the user would have to consciously think to separate to avoid them, whereas being sliced with a sword would activate it naturally, as that's the whole purpose of the fruit.

The problem here was that its current user was _not_ thinking. Rather, their head had short-circuited due to the sheer terror they had been feeling. And now, because of that intense desire to run away, his body had collapsed into pieces.

To make a bad situation worse, a giant frog had chosen to leap towards the two helpless crewmates, presumably seeing them as some sort of lunch. Buggy's head cleared just as a rubbery hand shot towards him, and he willed his body to pull itself together. In the nick of time, he managed to come together just as Luffy pulled him and Usopp away from the frog.

The Merry landed back in the storm, and continued on its journey towards the mountain. Buggy could vaguely make out the sound of Nami explaining how failing to enter the waterway would result in their deaths, but he didn't pay much attention. After all, he'd already read it in the manga.

As he managed to calm himself down, he saw the other five all facing port, staring ahead at a massive shadow, cast by a mountain that stretched above the clouds: The Red Line.

"Get a good grip of the rudder so we don't get dragged under!" Luffy yelled, with Sanji and Usopp running to follow the instructions, giving their guarantees they'd complete the job.

They didn't.

When push came to shove, and they had to turn to the right to ensure they didn't crash, the rudder snapped, while the other four crew members stared in shock. But to prove why they were the captain and the first mate, Luffy and Zoro turned around to face the mountain. The former tossed his hat to the latter as he leaped from the deck, muttering to himself, "Gum-Gum…"

Air shot into his lungs, which he used to expand his belly, justifying the next word he said, "BALLON!". But balloon was inaccurate as well, as he did not pop. Rather, he placed himself between the ship and the side of the waterway and allowed it to bounce off of him. While Nami cheered, Zoro reached out and took the captain's extending hand, and with a tug, all six of the Straw Hats stood on the deck, emptying their lungs as they cheered in victory.

Another minute, and they had reached the top of the waterway. Just as Nami said, all they had to do now was go down. Bearing a grin shaped like the letter 'D' when rotated, Luffy perched himself on the figurehead of the Merry, and exclaimed joyously, "I CAN SEE THE GRAND LINE UP AHEAD!"

**Thank you for reading! I do plan on making the upcoming chapters longer, but I just felt that this was the best place to end it. Please leave any comments or criticism in the reviews below.**


	3. Chapter 3

Absolute justice. Unclear justice. Lazy justice. True justice. Excessive justice. Blind justice. Justice came in many different types, from many different ideologies, and was demonstrated by many different people. Most of those people were known to the world as the Marines, and working under the World Government, they made up one of the three great powers that preserved balance in the Grand Line.

It had been several days ago when high-ranking Marines congregated to discuss a certain straw hat-wearing pirate, and what an appropriate bounty for him would be. And after an urgent call from another East Blue captain, they found themselves together once again to discuss that same man, and a certain other well-known pirate.

The discussion was led by Commander Brannew, clad in sunglasses, who spoke with a cool, deep voice, "Twenty-two years ago, the man known to the world as Gold Roger, given the title of 'King of the Pirates' turned himself into Marine custody and was soon executed in Loguetown. In his last moments, he declared to the world that the greatest treasure ever known had been hidden somewhere in the Grand Line, and it was there for the taking. This lead to the Great Age of Pirates, which we are currently in." He stopped to gesture to a wanted poster, depicting a red-haired man with three scars over his left eye, "The Roger Pirates were a force to be reckoned with. Even Vice Admiral Garp and Fleet Admiral Sengoku were unable to ever capture them. One of the cabin boys on that crew would soon grow up to become one of the four emperors: 'Red-Haired' Shanks. Bounty, 4,002,200,000. One of the highest bounties in the world." He took a breath, before gesturing to another wanted poster, this one of a man with a spherical, red nose, "The pirate Buggy the Clown seemed to be, for all intents and purposes, a nobody. He possessed a devil fruit that allowed him to take the East Blue by storm, and he soon rose into the top three. However, it was still the top three of the weakest sea, so he didn't seem like much of a threat. It was only a few days ago in Loguetown, on the very execution stand where Roger was killed, that we learnt something very important about him."

The other Marines in the room all leaned forward with anticipation, anything that involved Roger's name was a matter to be taken seriously. Brannew continued, "Buggy was a cabin boy for the Roger Pirates, just as 'Red-Haired' was. And he declared that he wished to sail with the next 'Pirate King'." The effect was instantaneous, as every Marine stiffened with widened eyes.

Seeing that they were still silent, Brannew went on, "As much as I would like to dismiss him as an East Blue nobody, he was able to exploit Captain Smoker's weakness to seastone and shoot him. Had he been a better aim, I am certain that one of, if not the best Marine in the East Blue would have died. If we do not snip this bud now, it could grow into a very dangerous thorn in our side. If we are not diligent, we could be dealing with a fifth emperor." He looked around gravely, before speaking, "Thanks to one of Captain Smoker's subordinates, we also know that 'Pirate Hunter' Roronoa Zoro is among their ranks. I believe that, considering the severity of what this crew could cause, we issue a starting bounty of fifty-million beli." He stopped and looked around, seeing that the others were nodding with agreement, "Buggy the Clown's bounty should be raised from fifteen million to seventy-five million. And Straw Hat Luffy's bounty…" He paused, contemplating things.

Whatever number he suggested, it was enough to make every single jaw in the room drop.

* * *

"So this is the Grand Line," Murmured the man who would one day conquer it, "The greatest sea in the world!" He took a deep breath, before exclaiming merrily, "FULL SPEED AHEAD!"

"**BUOOOOOH!**"

Zoro frowned, perking up at the sound, "Hm? Did you hear something just now?" He asked his captain and their navigator. While the former remained excitedly apathetic, the latter instead pointed out that the terrain in the area was quite odd, meaning that it could have just been the wind.

"**BUOOOOOH!**"

The sound echoed again, and both Usopp and Sanji found themselves staring ahead, trying to discern the shape in front of them. "Nami-swan! There's a mountain up ahead!" The love-struck cook exclaimed, pointing ahead.

"A mountain? That can't be! Once we pass the twin capes up ahead, we should reach the open sea." Nami replied, confused.

"**BUOOOOOH!**"

Buggy couldn't help but grin as he thought back to an iconic line from an iconic movie, "That's no mountain… that's a whale." He intoned eagerly. It was only after speaking that he really took in what was in front of him.

Only an hour or two ago, he had learnt a new kind of terror. Seeing a creature that was on such a scale that it was almost incomprehensible had made him both believe in and fear a higher power. Those creatures were a fraction of the size of the colossus that blocked their path.

For once, what you saw was what you got. A mountain of pure blackness, staring ahead of itself with an expression blanked by pain. Scars the size of buildings ran across the front of the creature's head, making Buggy wince immediately upon seeing them.

"**BUOOOOOOOH!**"

The other members of the crew yelled at each other, frantically trying to figure out what to do. Buggy had to bite back a laugh, thinking about how after two to three years, they'd be able to take down monsters double the size of Laboon.

Unfortunately, he found himself so caught up in being awed by his size, and amused by the fact that he actually worked as a roadblock for the crew, considering how powerful they would become, that he failed to stop a very Luffy-centric chain of events that involved a cannon, a broken 'special seat', and a whale getting punched.

He quickly ran and grabbed the mast tightly, holding on for dear life. In this case, it was fair, considering all the seawater he could fall into if he wasn't careful. Honestly, it was probably a waste of time doing so, considering how after a few seconds, the waters calmed down, and it was all blue skies and fluffy clouds.

Buggy stood with the five other people on the deck, staring ahead of them, where a small island awaited. The majority of the island was taken up by a quaint little house, along with a rowboat, a beach chair and a clothesline bearing still-damp laundry.

"Are we just dreaming or something?" Usopp wondered with a frown, while Nami concurred.

It was time for the clown to shine, "AH, BUT YOU SEE, THIS IS NO DREAM! WE ARE INSIDE THE WHALE'S STOMACH, HERE AT THE HOME OF-" His dramatic ramblings were cut off by the sudden presence of a giant squid.

…

He'd forgotten about that part.

From where boisterous yells at once come, now there was but a scream. A long, drawn-out scream filled with fear. Two other screams, from Nami and Usopp, joined his to create a beautiful harmony of fear. Sanji and Zoro, being Sanji and Zoro, simply stood there, prepared to slice up, cook and serve calamari.

Unfortunately for anyone on the crew currently craving calamari, three harpoons suddenly pierced through the body of the squid, killing it almost instantly. Buggy glanced at the two monsters on each side of him. Zoro and Sanji watched as the squid was dragged by the harpoons towards the house, which utilised shadows to hide whoever was within. While Zoro had a grumpier expression, one hand on Wado Ichimonji, clearly prepared for a fight, Sanji had a nervous smile on his face, a few drops of sweat descending from his forehead, obviously wanting to avoid a fight. "Seems like there's a person here." The swordsman remarked bluntly, with the cook replying, "Let's _hope_ it's a person."

A silhouette could be made out inside the house, carrying the harpoon gun. The other four crewmates all tensed up as they watched closely, while Buggy relaxed. If he played his cards right, he might be able to convince the wrinkly flower to help them out.

"M-MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST OPEN FIRE?!" Usopp yelled loudly, clearly trying to hide the fear through volume. Buggy quickly turned around and slapped him upside the head.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" The liar roared, clutching where he had been struck, "I SHOULD HAVE MY ARMY OF TAMED SEA KINGS EAT YOU JUST FOR THAT!"

"DON'T BE RUDE! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THAT GUY IS? HE'S OUR HOPE FOR GETTING A LOG POSE, AND HE WAS A MEMBER OF THE PIRATE KING'S CREW!" The clown roared back with equal vigour.

That sentence seemed to freeze the entire crew in place, before they all slowly turned to face Buggy, all shaking slightly. The old man seemed to be ignoring their presence completely as he sat down on his chair and began reading a newspaper.

"Buggy, are you saying…" Usopp began timidly.

"That the old guy…" Nami continued, swallowing nervously.

"Was a member…" Sanji added, glancing between the clown and the senior citizen.

"OF THE GODDAMN ROGER PIRATES?!" Zoro screeched, needing to be held back by Sanji, even though it was a waste of energy on both their parts, since Buggy couldn't be cut.

Crocus, who had apparently missed Buggy's yell but heard Zoro's, perked up as he looked over at the Straw-Hats. He kept looking.

And looking.

And looking.

"SAY SOMETHING!" Sanji exploded in irritation. Crocus kept looking.

"I-I-I-IF IT'S A F-F-F-F-FIGHT YOU W-W-W-W-WANT, T-T-T-T-T-T-THEN YOU'VE GOT O-O-O-O-ONE! W-W-W-W-WE HAVE A C-C-C-C-CANNON ON OUR S-S-S-SIDE!" Usopp exclaimed, clearly quite shaken by the fact that he was yelling at a former member of the Pirate King's crew. He was a little more shaken when another former member slapped him upside the head again.

"Don't, or someone might end up dead…" The old man replied coolly, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Sweating nervously, Sanji fought to keep himself from shaking, "Oh? And just who would that be…?" He asked, trying and failing to sound cocky.

"Me." Was the doctor's simple and nonchalant reply as he turned his attention back to the paper. Then, as an afterthought, he looked back up and hurled a scalpel bigger than any of Zoro's swords directly at Buggy's head.

It was obvious as to how the man was able to fight off two bazooka-using bounty hunters without any injury, considering that the scalpel seemed to have eaten the Glint-Glint fruit. One second it was in his hands, the next, the blade was buried in the mast with the handle in between the two halves of Buggy's face.

The crew stared in shock at the admittedly harmless attack, and then at Crocus, who simply shrugged, "Guess you really are that cabin boy back from the crew." He said with a shrug, returning to his newspaper.

Seeing a lot of tension among the people in the crew, Buggy spoke up, "That man's name is Crocus, the lighthouse keeper of Twin Capes. He's 71 years old, a Gemini, and type AB blood." He informed the others, glancing back at said doctor to check he was still focused on his newspaper. "And as I was GOING to say before that damn squid showed up… we're currently inside the stomach of that whale." He glanced around, before pointing at a large door, "If we wanna leave, we just gotta leave through there."

Nami blinked, squinting at the clouds, "Those clouds… they haven't moved since we came here. The whole sky is… it's a painting!" She realised, her eyes widening.

"The entire inside of the stomach's been painted over…" Usopp muttered in awe, while Crocus shrugged over on his chair, "That's just my way of having a good time." He remarked idly, still focused on the paper.

"J-J-JUST WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU D-D-DOING IN HERE A-A-ANYWAYS?!" Usopp asked, stuttering a little more than he had in canon. Buggy figured it was because he knew who exactly he was speaking to.

"Just leave him be. We've found an exit so let's just get out of here." Zoro muttered to the sniper, glancing over to the door. The universe must not have liked this idea, as the stomach around them began to shake violently, the stomach acid around them swishing dangerously.

Buggy ignored the conversation between the rest of the crew and Crocus, since he already knew everything, and instead examined the scalpel still stuck in the mast. His attention only drifted to the rest of the crew when Usopp yelled, pointing at where the doctor had dived in.

The stomach acid churned violently, with Zoro and Sanji being the only ones who remained upright. "We've got no choice but to row!" The swordsman called out to the others. Before they were able to follow the instructions, a smaller door next to the large door, which had gone unnoticed due to being human-sized, suddenly burst open, and Luffy, a blue-haired woman and orange-haired man, the latter two both wielding bazookas, all flew out.

Sanji quickly threw himself into the acid, swimming towards Luffy and dragging him back to the ship. No words were spoken as he tossed the captain up before swimming back over to the woman and dragging her over to the ship and gently carrying her up to the deck. The orange-haired man, Mr. 9, climbed aboard and took a seat next to her, their bazookas laid askew beside them.

"The whale seems to have calmed down…" Nami muttered to herself as she gazed upwards, before looking down at the two strangers, "Just who exactly are you guys?" She asked them.

"Baroque Works agents Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday." Buggy informed her without missing a beat. The named agents instantly froze as they looked at the clown fearfully, who grinned sadistically as he continued, "That's right. I know all about your organisation. I know your boss' identity, I know the devil fruit abilities of your high-level agents, and I know _all about _your plans in Alabasta." He walked forwards and leaned down, whispering into Miss Wednesday's- Vivi's, ear, "_Princess._"

The effect was almost instant, as the bluenette paled and shrunk back. The effect of that was of a similar speed, as Sanji crushed his cigarette between his teeth, "You better not be spooking the lady, crap-clown." He growled out menacingly. Buggy did swallow a little hearing that, mainly since Sanji was a perfect candidate to beat him to death.

Any further threats of violence in the name of women would have to wait, as Crocus walked out the small door and roared across the stomach, "I WON'T LET YOU LAY EVEN A SINGLE FINGER ON LABOON, FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE!"

The members of the crew who knew Crocus' identity all shrank back at the intensity of his voice. Buggy understood now, how Rayleigh had stood up to an Admiral like had. The ever-ignorant Luffy simply stared at him blankly, asking "Who's that old man?"

Vivi and her crown-wearing partner went to grab their bazookas, but faltered under Buggy's cruel grin.

"Say sorry to the nice old man, you two." The clown chastised them in a playful voice, the grin remaining plastered on his face. Crocus watched as the two agents simply stayed silent, sweating profusely, and he scoffed before diving back into the stomach acid and swimming over to his island.

The Straw-Hats sailed over a little closer to the island, and listened (with the exception of Buggy and Luffy) to Crocus as he told the story of Laboon and the Rumbar Pirates. Once the story was done, he affixed Buggy with a stern gaze, "You seem to know quite a lot about these two whalers who have been trying to kill Laboon." He remarked with a passive-aggressive curiosity.

Glancing at Vivi out the corner of his eye, the clown waved a dismissive hand in response, "Oh, I just now about how they work for a bounty-hunting criminal organisation called Baroque Works. These two come from the town of Whiskey Peak, where the people get pirates drunk and then capture them to turn them in." His cruel grin returned as he continued, "I also know who their boss is. I know about his plans for Alabasta. I know things that are going to get _them _killed just for knowing."

His sadism ground to a halt as he saw Vivi not shrinking back in fear, or in surprise, but instead bursting into tears. His feelings were confused even more as he saw that they were not tears of grief, nor of fear, but of _relief_.

"Please…" She begged, her voice barely above a whisper, "_Please_, don't lie to me…"

"Sanji, knock the redhead out." Buggy said quickly, so as to avoid such a thing happening to him. The chef, a significant amount of his cigarette having turned to ash, begrudgingly followed the instructions, and Mr. 9 crumpled to the ground with a fresh goose egg on the back of his head.

Seeing that there were no unwanted eyes or ears, Buggy sighed, and his gaze hardened as he offered a hand to Vivi. She took it, her grip weak and her hand shaking, and got to her feet.

"We'll begin," The clown told the princess gravely, "with the man in charge of it all: The Warlord, Crocodile."

**Please leave any comments or criticism in the reviews below!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for fifty followers! It's kind of crazy imagining fifty people all reading this and deciding they want to know when it gets updated, and I'm really thankful for it. Also thanks to everyone who reviews, since they helped me realise my line breaks aren't working and it's making my scene changes really confusing.**

One hour ago, Nefertari Vivi had been Miss Wednesday. She had witnessed and committed vile acts, some of which still haunted her at night. Every day, she had woken up wondering if there was going to be an obituary with her father's name in it, or Pell's, or Chaka's. Recklessly, she had, two years ago, left her home in order to become Miss Wednesday. She had suffered through experiences that nearly brought her to take her own life. And one hour ago, she was going to slaughter an innocent whale so that the meat could be used to help bait in pirates to be killed and exchanged for a bounty. It would have been just another day for her.

The identity of Miss Wednesday had, with every word spoken, been stamped into smaller and smaller pieces, until Vivi could gleefully discard it forever. Although her exterior was still that of a woman sobbing while a clown had the shit kicked out of him on her behalf.

"HOW DARE YOU MAKE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL LADY CRY!" Sanji roared, slamming his foot into Buggy's side again and again, while Zoro and Luffy tried to hold him back. It was the screams of pain from Buggy that snapped Vivi back to reality.

"STOP IT!" She cried desperately, lunging forward to help pull the cook away. The action seemed to confuse him, as while a beautiful woman was holding him, it would definitely be very disrespectful of him to gush blood from his nose. Unable to respond to the situation, Sanji blacked out, going limp in Vivi's arms, who looked even more distressed now.

"Tch. Damn idiot cook…" Zoro grumbled, taking said cook's unconscious body from Vivi and dragging him away. Luffy, seeing that everything was fine, went over to talk to Crocus. With everyone else on the crew busy, Vivi found herself kneeling down to examine Buggy, who was unable to offer much more than a pained groan.

"I'm sure that this is far from the treatment that you'd like right now." She admitted quietly, "You'd probably prefer a doctor, considering your injuries. But… thank you. Thank you so much." A small smile formed on her face, "You've made it all worth it… thank you so much." The painful groan she got in response was a tad happier.

* * *

With Mr. 9 tied up below deck, the crew allowed themselves to enjoy the fresh sea-scented air as they sat around near one of the lighthouses, discussing Laboon.

"Those pirates sure are taking a long time…" Luffy remarked to himself, resting his head in his hands.

"You idiot, this is the Grand Line." Sanji replied seriously, "They promised they'd be back in 2-3 years, yet they're still not back after 50… the answer's obvious." He was about to confirm that he meant death, but was cut off by a floating fist slamming into his face.

Buggy, proud of himself for managing to get the hang of the Chop-Chop cannon, cleared his throat and roared at the top of his lungs, "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MAN WHO WANTED TO FIND THE ALL BLUE?! WHAT HAPPENED TO A PIRATE'S DREAM?!" With his attached hand, he pointed a finger at Laboon, "THAT WHALE WAS THEIR NAKAMA. HE'S AS MUCH A PIRATE AS US, AND HE STILL HAS A DREAM TO SEE FULFILLED." He smirked internally, patting himself on the back for his performance, and making sure to face Laboon, bellowed out the nail in the coffin, "THEY'RE STILL HERE IN THE GRAND LINE, SOMEWHERE."

"**BUOOOOOOOOOOH!**" Laboon screamed, his voice no longer tainted by pain and desperation, and instead cleansed by a newfound sense of hope.

"DON'T YOU DARE TO LIE TO HIM LIKE THAT!" Crocus roared, leaping to his feet angrily, only for Buggy to hold a finger up. "I'm not lying." He said seriously, his performance once again perfect, "The captain of the Rumbar Pirates, 'Humming Swordsman' Brook is still alive. Of that, I am certain enough to bet my life on it."

Luffy seemed to be in a deep thought, before he jumped up and yelled at Laboon, "HEY, JOIN MY CREW!" Immediately, everyone there, with the exception of Crocus, fell down from shock, while their captain continued, "WE'RE GOING TO SAIL AROUND ALL OF THE GRAND LINE! WE'LL DEFINITELY FIND YOUR FRIEND, SO IF YOU COME WITH US, YOU'LL FIND HIM TOO!"

Buggy had most certainly not seen that coming.

"**BUOOOOOH!**" Was the whale's ecstatic reply as it bobbed up and down in the sea, and Luffy let out a booming laugh, with the rest of the crew joining in, while Crocus let out a weary sigh.

"I think he might be the man you're looking for, Roger…" He murmured to himself as Luffy and Usopp ran around, grabbing paints and brushes.

* * *

"And… DONE!" Luffy declared proudly, all his clothes, with the exception of his hat, stained by paint. "This will be a sign that you're one of our nakama!"

"**BUOOOOOH!**" Laboon, bearing a very badly-painted straw hat-wearing jolly roger over his scars, cheered.

"You better not bash your head against the mountain and scrape it off either!" Luffy added firmly, "I'm ordering you as captain!"

"Oi, captain, toss Nami that weird compass that Vivi and Mr. 9 left behind on the ship. It's the log pose we'll be needing to sail the Grand Line." Buggy instructed as he looked around for Zoro. Luffy shrugged and followed the instructions, tossing the compass to a grateful Nami. "Okay, now you, me and Zoro are gonna have a talk…" He paused, glancing up at the sky, "Right after Usopp shoots down that vulture."

Vivi paled, and Usopp blinked, looking up, "Vulture? The one carrying the sea otter?" He asked, taking out his slingshot and preparing to fire a lead pellet.

"The Unluckies?! Oh no… I'm late!" Vivi exclaimed, her eyes widening with fear. Miss Friday and Mr. 13 flew towards the gathering of pirates, with the former carrying a package in her beak. Unfortunately, they were no match for Usopp's slingshot, and the lead pellet hit Miss Friday clean in the wing. The two animals flailed around in the air, until they crash-landed in a plate of elephant trout.

Fortunately, elephant trout was actually an impressive cushion, and they were relatively unharmed, though they were dazed. _Unfortunately_, the elephant trout they had landed in was actually quite important, as the narrow-eyed blonde chef glaring at them hatefully would explain, his voice a deadly whisper, "That food... was for Nami-swan and Vivi-swan…"

His limbs trembled with fury as he placed the other three plates down carefully on the ground, and with his now free hand, he nudged the otter's sunglasses up and used his right eye as an ashtray. In response, he writhed in pain and tried to escape, only for Sanji to grip him tightly and hold him up, "Do you think that wasting this plate of food is a joke? This plate that I poured my heart and soul into?" He dropped the otter and slammed a foot into his side, sending him hurtling through the sky like a shooting star.

"And you…" Sanji ground out, turning his attention to the unconscious vulture, "I've never cooked a vulture before, but I'm sure Luffy would eat a bag of garbage if it looked appealing enough." He carried the untouched plates over to the table and placed them down with sudden loving vigour, before immediately shifting right back to barely-contained fury as he carried the vulture into the Merry's kitchen.

While Vivi enjoyed the best meal she'd eaten since becoming Miss Wednesday and Nami obsessed over the Log Pose, Buggy dragged Luffy onto the deck of the ship and over to where Zoro was. Seeing the swordsman asleep, he picked up one of his discarded swords and rapped him on the head with the pommel.

In a flash of movement, the blade was wrenched from Buggy's grasp, the sheath was removed, and the blade was held against his neck.

"_Don't_," The swordsman whispered dangerously, "touch my blades."

If Zoro's facial expression was being worn by Luffy, or Sanji, or even Nami, Buggy would have been shaking in his boots. But for the swordsman, the person on the crew most useless against him, Buggy could be proud to say that he felt no fear. Instead, he adopted a grin so wide it almost split his face open.

"I just figured that you wouldn't want to sleep through your best opportunity to beat Mihawk." He remarked gleefully. His grin only widened as Zoro's eyes widened and he shot to his feet, sword still positioned to decapitate.

"_Talk_."

* * *

"Is it properly pointing towards a place indicated on the map?" Crocus asked, arms crossed over his chest as Nami inspected the 'it' he was referring to. "Yup! It's pointing towards Whiskey Peak."

Vivi, who had been boarding the ship at that moment, stopped and turned to Nami, "Are you sure that you want to do all this… just for me?" She asked nervously. A greedy glint shone in Nami' eyes as the navigator replied, "Of course! I'm sure that if we escort you back to your kingdom and save them from Crocodile, we'll get a _hefty _reward~" She practically sang the last few words, her body trembling with excitement at the possibility of large sums of money.

"BESIDES," Buggy called out from the deck, struggling to lift a dumbbell he had acquired from Zoro, "It's the same route the Rumbar Pirates took, so it's our best chance at finding them!"

"**BUOOOOOH!**" Laboon concurred happily while Sanji cooked, Zoro meditated, Luffy goofed off and Usopp toiled away at his inventing table. Once Nami and Vivi got on the Merry, and the preparations were made, they truly began their journey through the Grand Line.

"We're going now, old man!" Luffy called out behind them. As said old man watched their boat sail away, followed closely by his companion of fifty years… it brought weird feelings rising up in his chest. He couldn't help but sigh as they sailed into the horizon. "May god have mercy on their souls…" He muttered, reminiscing of his times on Roger's ship.

* * *

Credit be where credit is due. Oda, in all his wisdom, had known that his audience did not care about a long-winded and detailed explanation on how their favourite characters sailed from island to island. A scene or two here or there. We'd gotten a few pages of it at the start, and that was all it really took.

And following the theme, what Oda had drawn had not lived up to reality. That reality being summed up in one word: Hell.

One second, Zoro was meditating, Luffy was lazing about, Buggy was struggling to lift weights, Usopp was making ammo for himself, Sanji was preparing a cold drink for Vivi and Nami, and Vivi and Nami were talking in the kitchen a few feet away from him.

"What the hell kind of doping…?" Buggy grunted to himself, having to, for the fourth time in two minutes, put the lone dumbbell down to rest his aching arm. The accused in question simply remained in his meditative state, still trying to awaken his haki. Their captain seemed to have taken the complete opposite direction when it came to the problem, which was to just let it happen. Though, he did seem to be interested in the 'gears' Buggy had told him about, if the way he was blowing his hand up to twice its size and then watching it deflate was anything to go by.

There was absolutely no warning. No indication whatsoever that the temperature was about to drop dozens of degrees and it would begin snowing with enough snow to cover the entire ship. Regardless of the lack of indication, it happened anyway.

While some people would question the sudden change, most of the Straw Hats were indifferent. Zoro kept meditating, even as the weather turned him into a snowman. Luffy and Usopp began making their own inanimate snowmen (or a snowwoman in Usopp's case), and Sanji threw himself out onto the deck to shovel in the name of love. Buggy kept struggling with the weight, and ultimately ignored the cold.

Apparently, the tactic of ignoring something until it goes away worked, judging by the fact that snow suddenly turned to wind, rain, thunder and lightning. And then it changed back to snow in a second.

Inside the kitchen, Nami let out a groan as she looked out the window, "It's exactly as you and Buggy said…" She groaned to Vivi, "If Laboon hadn't warned us, and we didn't have Mr.9 watch the rudder… we'd already have turned right back around to the Twin Capes…"

"That's just what sort of ocean the Grand Line is. You can't trust anything but the direction your Log Pose points." Was the princess' reply. To help accentuate her point, Usopp's yell of "ICEBERG SPOTTED AT 10 O'CLOCK!" Echoed through the entire ship.

As Nami ran outside and began bellowing orders, and Zoro meditated through the whole thing, Buggy thought about the pointlessness of lifting weights when sailing through the Grand Line offered ten times the workout.

"RAISE THE SAILS!"

"THE WINDS ARE TOO STRONG!"

"THE SAIL'S TEARING!"

"..."

"**BUOOOOOH!**"

"WE'VE GOT ANOTHER LEAK ON THE LOWER DECK!"

"WHERE'S THE COMPASS POINTING NOW?"

"IT CHANGED AGAIN!"

Whatever they described in the bible paled in comparison to the kind of hell that this ocean was. Once the waves and the winds were calm, the crew allowed themselves to collapse across the deck, completely and utterly wiped. It was at that point that Zoro chose to open his eyes, stretch his arms out and stand up.

"The 'breath' of all things." He declared, glancing at Buggy, "I suppose that we're even now, clown. Thanks to you, I've realised just how much further I have left to go." He then frowned, looking around at all his exhausted crewmates. "Hey, come on. I know that the weather's nice and warm but don't you think you're being a little lazy?" He looked towards Nami, "Are you sure we're going the right way?"

"_You son of a…!"_ Was the thought shared by everyone on the crew, with an exception of an unsurprised Buggy. Even Laboon bellowed out his irritation with a "**BUOOOOH!**"

"REALLY?" The voice of the Straw Hat-wearing captain silenced the whale's cry as he sat on the Merry's railing, bouncing up and down with excitement, "Does that mean you can cut through cannonballs like Buggy mentioned? Or through whole ships like the funny hat guy?!"

Zoro shrugged, "Cannonballs would be easy, but ships are a different matter. Once I figure out those 'air slashes' he mentioned, it won't be a problem though. And haki… damn clown wasn't kidding when he said it would be hard. I have no clue if I'm going at it the right way, or if I'm just wasting my time…" He grumbled, crossing his arms.

"It's good to know you made good use of your time, Zoro…" Came the deadly whisper of an enraged navigator, right before she slammed her hand down on said swordsman's head. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood…"

"Why is that, Nami?" Luffy asked curiously, picking his nose with his pinky.

"Because the first leg of our journey, is over." She replied, her anger changing to a relieved smile as she gestured ahead of them, where… wow, that did look weird. Buggy had never thought he'd see a cactus the size of a mountain, but here he was.

"IT'S AN ISLAND!" Luffy yelled excitedly, "I SEE GIANT CACTI!"

"Those aren't cacti…" Vivi murmured sombrely, and Buggy's eyes widened as he remembered that scene, "Every one of those spikes is a tombstone, put there for every pirate we killed to get a bounty." She finished, looking down at her feet.

Buggy stood up and looked at the rest of the crew, "But there won't be one put there for us! As soon as we dock, we're going out guns blazing and we're taking them all down! Except for the 'Mayor', with the weird curly hair. Make sure he's conscious, so we can talk with him."

Luffy nodded, "Beat up everyone except weird-hair guy! Got it!"

"And loot their entire town." Nami added, a greedy glint in her eyes.

Vivi frowned, "We did actually need the whale, though… we're really struggling there."

"Vivi, these are members of an organisation actively trying to destroy your kingdom and kill your father. Your sympathy could be aimed better." Buggy replied bluntly before turning his attention back to the island.

"This'll be a good opportunity to test out my blades." Zoro smirked, fingers twitching with anticipation towards his blades' handles.

Neither the town of Whiskey Peak nor the Straw Hats were ready for what exactly was going to happen in the next few hours.

**Please leave any comments or criticism in the reviews below!**


	5. Chapter 5

As the warmth of the sun filtered through the leaves of the jungle it shone down upon, it found itself greeted with an orchestra of pained groans.

'Red-Haired' Shanks, one of the most feared men in all the seas, one of the four emperors of the New World, a man who could clash with the strongest man and the strongest beast with only one arm (mainly because he only had one arm), and who could send Sea Kings running with nothing but a glare, was currently strewn across the dirt of an island he had been staying on, missing his pants.

Likewise, the other members of 'the most balanced crew in the New World' found themselves in similar states. Ben Beckmann and Yasopp had opened their eyes to find themselves in a warm, loving embrace, and the headaches everyone was suddenly nursing only became worse when the sniper and the first mate of the crew let out twin screams of shock and disgust and hurled themselves away from each other.

The whole affair was observed the large Lucky Roo, who didn't allow his headache to separate him from his beloved meat. The only sign that he had ever been drunk at all was the fact that he had Shanks' pants wrapped around his head.

While the Red-Haired pirates experienced the consequences to their actions, a hawk-eyed observer found himself distracted by the morning's newspaper.

"Interesting… he seems to be making a name for himself." The greatest swordsman in the world remarked, obviously referring to the new bounties that had been given to a certain three pirates.

"Who're you talking about?" Shanks asked with a groan, rubbing the side of his head as he sat up.

Mihawk ignored the question, instead focusing on two other bounties. "A 75,000,000 bounty for a mere East Blue pirate… how bizarre. I wonder what this 'Buggy the Clown' could have done to earn such a high bounty?"

Shanks perked up at that name, "Buggy? Ha! Nice to see he's doing well for himself. Dethroned that Shiki-wannabe and Arlong too." He laughed, pouring himself another drink, "This one's for you, Buggy!" He declared, downing it.

"And… oh, Straw-Hat got a new bounty as well. So soon after the old one too… how odd." Mihawk added, showing said bounty to Shanks. In response, every bit of alcohol that had just entered his mouth promptly exited it.

The other members of the crew were unable to resist dragging themselves over to see what had caused a reaction that was so unbecoming of an emperor, and when they saw it, they all cried out in unison:

"HIS BOUNTY IS _HOW_ MUCH?!"

* * *

Somewhere in the Grand Line, a boat bearing a flaming Jolly Roger found itself shaking as its captain let out a roar of primal fury.

"WHAT THE GODDAMN FUCK?!" Eustass 'Captain' Kid screeched, tearing the bounty poster in his hand to shreds. His first-mate, 'Massacre Soldier' Killer, stood beside him, watching passively, his mask concealing any hint of a facial expression.

"YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT SOME NO-NAME EAST BLUE FUCK HAS A HIGHER BOUNTY THAN ME?! WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THIS?!" The conqueror roared, and a few nearby fish floated to the surface around the ship, their wills having been thoroughly overpowered.

* * *

While the Pirate King had said in the past that there were three things which could not be stopped, his son would defy him (possibly intentionally) and prove that brotherly love was the fourth force that could not be stopped.

Said son was currently squatting on top of a pile of unconscious marines, unable to stop a wide grin from forming as he saw his brother's visage accompanied with such an impressive number.

"Good on you Luffy!" He laughed, leaning back and causing one of the marines to groan from the increased pressure.

"Still…" 'Fire Fist' Ace muttered to himself, "You're a long way from being able to take on pops, or even me for that matter!"

* * *

It was honestly a shame that this arc wasn't supposed to be horror, because Buggy couldn't stop thinking about what great set-up it was. There was a fog obscuring the town ahead, and whispers could barely be made out over from the coast.

The fact that hundreds of tombstones covered the island was an added bonus for the atmosphere.

Finally, the Merry sailed far enough inland that the fog disappeared, and the yells of "PIRATES!" and "WELCOME!" could be heard. It would be flattering if the crew didn't know the true intentions of the cheering crowd.

Some of the Straw Hats soaked in the cheers despite knowing these intentions, and by some, that did of course mean Usopp and Sanji. While the former could not resist the idea of being seen as a hero and was now blowing kisses to the grateful people, Sanji's resolve had crumbled the moment he saw a single woman cheering.

Once the ship had docked, the crew jumped off the deck and landed in the middle of a thunderous roar of applause. Leading the disturbingly enthusiastic reception was a large man with six hair curls, the captain of the Royal Alabastan Guard, Igaram, known by those around him as Mr. 8.

"WELG- Ahem!" He started, before clearing his throat and singing a few notes, "Welcome, my name is Igarappoi. You may be a little shocked at this welcome, but this is Whiskey Peak, a town of liquor and music. Hospitality is our middle name. If it's fine liquor you want, we have an ocean's worth." Zoro perked up at that, and Igaram continued, "So please, I cordially invite you to a banquet-" The 'mayor' was suddenly cut off by several of the town's citizens screaming "IT'S A GIANT WHALE!"

Indeed, a giant whale had just surfaced out of the water. Laboon had dove under as they approached, since the crew figured it would be a good idea for him to hide. Unfortunately, island whales couldn't hold their breath for as long as they had thought, and he had been forced to surface.

"HURRAH, WE'RE SAVED!" One citizen cheered.

"WE CAN FINALLY FEED THE CHILDREN!" Cheered another.

The crowd seemed to forget all about the pirates they were attempting to trick as dozens of them revealed hidden firearms and opened fire on Laboon. Bullets, harpoons, even some arrows all flew towards the startled whale, who let out a pained, "**BUOOOOOH!**" In response.

The entire crew tensed, with both Zoro and Usopp reaching for their weapons. They then faltered when they heard their captain speak in a deadly voice, "What the hell… do you think you're doing to MY NAKAMA?!" Luffy roared, and an elongated arm shot forwards. The mighty fist on the end slammed into the face of one of the offenders, and an entire row of Baroque Works agents fell like dominos to the might of the future pirate king.

Igaram stepped back, a wide-eyed expression of fear on his face. An expression which only got worse when Zoro drew his swords and cut down those who tried to do the same. "We won't let anyone lay a hand on our nakama." The swordsman warned, glaring at the rest of the crowd.

With their facades ruined, the crowd dropped them completely, and every man woman and child adopted murderous expressions as they drew swords, knives, guns, and one burly bloke even lifted up a large stone axe.

Sanji walked forwards, a freshly-lit cigarette in his mouth, and took his place with the other two members of the monster trio. "Damn… can't believe such lovely ladies have to be our enemies…" He grumbled, taking a drag on his cigarette.

"DON'T EVEN BOF- Ahem," Igaram began, before clearing his throat and singing a few notes, "DON'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO FIGHT US, WE HAVE ONE-HUNDRED BOUNTY HUNTERS ON OUR SIDE!" He yelled, lifting his saxophone up to his mouth.

"YEAH?" Usopp yelled back with equal vigour "WELL WE HAVE EIGHT-HUNDRED PIRATES ON OUR SIDE!" He roared, pointing at the Millions threateningly.

It was actually depressing to see Usopp's bluff work on four of the bounty hunters, who all promptly threw down their weapons and fled. Luckily for the continued dignity of Baroque Works, Igaram just started laughing in his face.

While Buggy would have just _loved _to throw himself right into the dangerous battle full of guns and murderous bounty-hunters, he, along with the other two 'weak' Straw Hats, found themselves forced to sit back and watch as the monster trio moved too fast for them to pick a target.

To be honest, watching any one of the trio fight was like watching an elaborate dance, or listening to an exquisite piece of music. Zoro's swords moved with his body like they were simply extra limbs. Even the cursed Sandai Kitetsu was forced to obey his superior swordsmanship as he fell one Million after another with movements that were like flowing water. Even as blood spurted into the air and formed puddles in the ground, the three-sword style was still a joy to watch. It was also pleasing to see quite a few sliced-through swords littering the ground, showing that Zoro hadn't been lying when he claimed to have grasped the idea completely.

While Zoro's movements were gorgeously fluid, Sanji's were respectably elegant. Throughout the entire battle, he maintained his posture and allowed not a single attack to even near his hands. His legs moved in ways that brought ballerinas to Buggy's mind, and the ballerinas brought a certain numbered agent to mind afterwards, so he had to banish those images quickly.

Luffy, though… Luffy was in a league of his own. He wasn't as disciplined and trained as Zoro, and he didn't have the elegance or poise that Sanji boasted. What he did have was raw, hard _strength_. Every punch he threw, every movement he made, exuded an aura of willpower that no one else on the island could truly match. Whether he was unintentionally exerting a fraction of his conqueror's spirit or he was just _that _strong, both answers reassured Buggy more than anything in the last few days that this crew had been the right choice.

His reassured thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Luffy yelling, accompanied by a stretched-back fist, "GUM-GUM…" The fist flew forwards and slammed right into the middle of Miss Monday's face, "PISTOL!" And as the pink-haired amazon was sent flying back through a building, the crew surrounded a shocked Igaram that was desperately clutching at the saxophone that Zoro had cut up.

"YOU CAN COME OUT NOW, VIVI-SWAN!" Sanji exclaimed lovingly, turning back to face the Merry. To his delight, the blue-haired princess immediately revealed herself as she stood on the deck. To his non-delight, Mr. 9 immediately joined her, staring at the unconscious, beaten and bleeding forms of every Baroque Works agent at Whiskey Peak.

"W-what the hell…?" He mumbled, his head in his hands.

Igaram looked from the crew over to Vivi, then back to the crew, then back to Vivi like he was a YouTube video that had been set to loop. Of course, the analogy was lost on everyone but Buggy as 'YouTube' would not exist in this world for a few more centuries at least, if ever at all.

"What is going on?" Igaram murmured, falling to his knees in shock.

"What's going on is that our navigator is here to extort you." Buggy informed him bluntly, as said navigator stepped forward to do what he said she would do.

* * *

"I see…" Igaram said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "So you're actually escorting her highness to Alabasta…" He suddenly bowed his head to Luffy, "I am in your debt, 'Straw Hat' Luffy. As is the kingdom of Alabasta. You are truly a hero!"

That remark seemed to bother Luffy, as he crossed his arms defiantly, "I'm not a hero!" He stated firmly, "Heroes are people who share their meat, and I don't wanna share my meat! I eat all my meat on my own! Everyone else can get their own!"

'_Until you steal it from them…' _was the simultaneous thought of each member of the crew, even Vivi and Mr. 9, the latter of whom was still slaving away on the ship, cleaning.

"Now, there's something important we need to ask of you, Igaram." Buggy said seriously, crossing his arms, "You said Whiskey Peak is a town of liquor and music… so what I need to know is where the piano is."

* * *

"**WAY HAY AND UP SHE RISES,**

**WAY HAY AND UP SHE RISES,**

**WAY HAY AND UP SHE RISES,**

**EARLY IN THE MORNING!"**

Buggy pounded the keys of the piano furiously, fighting to remember each note, how long each note was, and then how to play them while the Straw-Hats enjoyed the fruits of his labour. Zoro and Nami, instead of challenging Whiskey Peak, challenged each other as they downed drink after drink. Usopp had found a grateful venue for his tall tales as he marketed his crew to Igaram more than was necessary.

Luffy and Usopp had their arms slung over each other's shoulders as they danced joyously and tried to sing along with Buggy. Their inebriation was only evident by the rosy blushes on their cheeks and the slurred nature of their singing.

Vivi was absent from the party as she leaned against the railing on the stern. Standing next to her was the faux king, Mr. 9.

"You're really a princess, Miss Wednesday?" He asked, genuinely surprised.

"Please, call me Vivi." She replied uncomfortably, rubbing her arms.

"Okay Miss Wedne- Vivi." He interrupted himself with a cough, looking away awkwardly.

The princess leaned back from the railing and affixed him with a confused look, "You aren't… mad at me? Mad that I've been lying to you for so long?" She said.

She received a simple shrug in response, "You're still the comrade-in-arms I've partnered with for a long time. After everything that's happened, I can't rely on the organisation to have my back, so… I guess I'll rely on this crew. They better after I cleaned every plank on the ship by hand…" He grumbled the last part, crossing his arms.

Vivi let out a giggle, the first of many. Unfortunately, the giggle was cut off by a large explosion at the side of the ship, which was then followed by the enraged yell of a man whose meat had just been exploded.

"THAT WAS MY MEAT YOU BASTARDS!"

The yell was then followed by the sounds of two mighty punches, and Mr. 9 and Vivi were unable to stop their jaws from dropping as they saw Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine sail through the air and land on the other side of Whiskey Peak, unconscious.

"D-Did they just…" Mr. 9 started, staring at the bodies in shock.

"Defeat two of Baroque Works' top agents?" Vivi finished, staring with equal shock.

Luffy walked over to the two of them, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly with the signature Monkey D. grin on his face, "Shishishishishi! I don't like it when people get between me and my meat, so I beat them up for being jerks."

"W-Well alright then…" Vivi murmured, still awe-struck. Carue, who stood beside her, was just as awestruck.

Nami, after downing enough alcohol to kill at least three men, got to her feet without the slightest shake. "The log's finished recording!" She told them happily, "Now we can set sail for the next island in the Grand Line!"

Initially, Igaram had offered them an eternal pose to Alabasta, but Luffy had been quite insistent that they didn't 'cheat' by skipping any islands, and once Luffy had made up his mind, there was no way to make him change it.

So it was that as the sun began to rise, the Straw-Hats, with four new additions, set sail from Whiskey Peak.

The fourth addition chose that time to make herself known, as she looked down on her future nakama. "Be careful not to crash your ship into the rocks near the shore…" Nico Robin instructed teasingly, tapping a finger against her smirking face.

**Not gonna lie, I did forget about Carue while I was writing this, and I was lazy when I remembered. Please leave any comments or criticism in the reviews below!**


	6. Chapter 6

**What up gamers, after a crap load of **_**procrastination **_**I have finally churned out another chapter. It's not any better than the others so the wait wasn't worth it. Something I figured I should clarify as we move forward is that I am playing fast and loose with translation. There won't be much of a pattern, just me deciding that something sounds better a certain way.**

'Devil Child' Nico Robin, the only survivor of Ohara, currently using the alias of Miss All-Sunday, stared down at her future friends, a gentle but cruel smirk on her face. "What a nice ship this is…" She said, a threatening vagueness present in her tone.

Vivi and Mr. 9 paled to such a degree that one may have mistaken them for a pair of corpses had it not been for the violent trembling visible from the latter.

Buggy, in contrast, smirked wryly up at the lady, tempted to make a perverted remark. He decided against it, since having his ribs kicked in by a love-struck chef was something he hoped to make a one-time experience.

While the clown reflected on that painful memory, Sanji and Usopp surrounded Robin from both sides. The latter pointed his signature slingshot at her, while the former pointed a flintlock. Where he got it, and what he would do with it in the future was still a mystery to Buggy.

"Hey…" The long-nosed sniper muttered, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead, "Do you understand what's going on…?"

Before Sanji was able to reply, Buggy clapped his hands and called out, "YOU TWO SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES, TREATING AN ESTEEMED GUEST LIKE THAT! ESPECIALLY YOU, SANJI, POINTING A GUN AT A LADY LIKE THAT."

Sanji, Usopp and Robin all seemed taken aback, with Usopp looking confused, Robin raising an eyebrow and Sanji coughing and lowering the gun slightly.

"That's _Nico Robin_," Buggy explained cheerfully, "She received a bounty of seventy-nine MILLION beli when she was just a child! Show her some respect."

If Robin was at all startled or anxious about her identity being known, she hid it expertly. The last Oharan simply raised an eyebrow as she remarked, "Rather well-informed for a pirate just starting out in the Grand Line, although it certainly would justify your bounty."

Even if he had been pointing a gun at her just moments ago, the idea of a lady taking more interest in the clown did cause Sanji to glare jealously at Buggy, who held his hands up in a placating fashion.

"It is such a shame that even an accomplished crew like this one finds itself struck down by the Grand Line." Robin continued, gazing intently at Luffy in particular. "The name of the next place on your journey is, 'Little Garden'. Even if I weren't to lay a single finger on you, it's more than likely that you'd still never reach Alabasta. Even without meeting Crocodile, the curtains will close on your mission and lives."

Luffy, who had been relatively apathetic to the mysterious lady up until that last line, spoke up, "As if we'd just roll over and die! I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"

In response, Robin raised an eyebrow, glancing between him and Buggy as if pondering something. "Enough howling," She instructed after a few seconds "anyone could put up a brave front." She glanced at Usopp, who had chosen to hide behind Zoro, before tossing something in Vivi's direction. "Yet to know of the difficulty that lies ahead and still rush in is an act fit for only fools."

Vivi caught the object, frowning with confusion as she examined it. "An Eternal Pose?" She asked, glancing up at Robin.

Any answer that the user of the Flower-Flower fruit intended to give would have been cut off as Mr. 9 regained his composure, pointing an accusatory finger at her, "She's the right-hand woman to Mr. 0, the head of the organisation! That Eternal Pose is probably some sort of trap."

Robin's explanation was yet again cut off, this time by a rubbery hand that saw to the destruction of her gift. "What's the point in finding the One Piece if we're just gonna cheat like that?" Luffy remarked, more casual than angry as he dropped the glass shards onto the deck.

"Exactly!" Buggy declared firmly, "Captain Roger and his crew didn't learn the void history by skipping islands, after all!" The clown was pleased to see that the mention of such a thing managed to get a reaction out of Robin, who almost fell backwards from where she was sitting.

Although the only thing Luffy understood was the first two words, he nodded in agreement with Buggy, "Yeah! If any island tries to stop us, I'll beat it up!" He said proudly.

"I see…" Robin murmured in reply, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I don't dislike bold men… Let us meet again if you survive." She told them, her tone incredibly vague. And as Luffy and the crew, minus Buggy, looked on in confusion, she left the ship as quietly as she had entered it. Once she was gone, riding her turtle into the horizon, Vivi collapsed to her knees while Mr. 9 clutched the sides of his head as his teeth gnashed together in fear.

The attention of most of the crew shifted to Buggy, who once again held his hands up defensively.

"What's her deal?" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow as he leaned against Merry's mast.

Mr. 9 managed to calm himself enough so that he could answer, "That was Miss All-Sunday. She's the highest ranking member of the organisation, working right under Mr. 0 himself… _ohgodwe'regonnadie…_"

Luffy blinked, "So she's a bad guy?" He asked, tilting his head.

"She was the one that Igaram and I tailed when we were trying to learn the boss' identity…" Vivi explained, her eyes darting to the direction Robin had left from.

"It's more like she let you, all things considered." Buggy remarked, walking over to the edge of the Merry. "What do you think about all this, Laboon?" He asked, leaning over and looking down at the largest member of their crew.

"**BUOOOOOOOOH!**"

Luffy blinked again, "So she's a good guy?"

"OF COURSE NOT YOU IDIOT!" Nami screeched, leaping at Luffy and slamming her foot into his face.

"S-she was just lying about how d-dangerous the next island is, right?" Usopp asked fearfully, glancing at Nami, and then at Buggy. The former didn't notice, still focused on her captain, while the latter simply shrugged.

"We'll be fine. The next island's called Little Garden and the only thing to watch out for is-" Buggy began to answer before a pain almost comparable to Sanji's assault on his ribs suddenly flared up on the top of his head. The glimpse of an extended rubbery fist he caught before tears obscured his vision made him realise that Luffy had just clonked him on the head.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" Nami and Buggy screeched in unison, although Buggy also threw some rather colourful names onto the end of his question.

In response, Luffy simply crossed his arms and huffed. "I don't wanna know what's on the island, because than it'll be boring! I don't wanna go on a boring adventure!" Before Nami was able to reply, he looked up and his face split into a wide grin. "It's morning! Sanji, time for breakfast!" He exclaimed excitedly, bouncing up and down.

Sanji dutifully headed to the kitchen and began preparing the requested meal, while Zoro laid down against the mast and began to nap. Usopp joined Mr. 9 so they could ramble pessimistically together, and Nami went to offer Vivi a hand. And all the while, Buggy was still doubled over clutching his head in agony.

* * *

"Mr. 3!" A youthful female voice, yet one dulled by boredom, called out as the speaker leaned back in her chair, glancing up from a sheet of paper she was holding.

Mr. 3, reclining in his own seat, glanced over at the speaker, his partner Miss Goldenweek. "What is it, hmm? Ah, hold on a moment." He replied, taking a deep sip of his steaming cup of tea before letting out a satisfied sigh. "When it comes to black tea, nothing beats earl grey, you know?" He remarked.

"I'm bored."

"You say you're bored, but you're not exactly fond of working either, aren't you?"

"Yup."

"Then why don't you try to enjoy this blissful time way from our duties?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, "After all, leisurely enjoying our break is also one of our privileges as an officer agent, you know? And also… would you mind not calling me by my codename so casually in a public place like this? Otherwise," He said, the '3' made out of hair on his head jiggling slightly, "don't you think people will find out I'm Mr. 3?"

Having wasted enough of her life with the man, Miss Goldenweek knew better than to waste her energy on him as she replied, "Oh, really?"

"By the way…" Mr. 3 continued, raising an eyebrow, "You've been staring intently at that paper for the past few days. What is it exactly?"

"An order from the boss."

"CAN'T YOU TELL ME THAT SOONER?!" He screeched, leaping up from his seat, before immediately regaining himself as he snatched the piece of paper, sat down and began reading it while he sipped his tea. "The boss wants us to head to Alabasta. That's quite the voyage, we'll probably need to stop by an island to replenish our supplies."

"Yay, fantastic." Miss Goldenweek said in a monotone voice.

* * *

Having put enough distance between themselves and Whiskey Peak, the Straw Hats allowed themselves to relax a little, with the men of the crew all lounging about on the deck, enjoying the drinks Sanji brought them.

"Are you sure things'll be fine like this?!" Vivi exclaimed, pointing a finger at the group as she stared incredulously at Nami, who simply shrugged and offered her a drink in response.

"It'll be fine. They'll work hard when we come across rough seas. It's not like they want to die or anything."

"That's true…" Vivi relented, incredulity shifting to unease, "But at this rate… we might be caught unaware." She remarked, looking over to the guys, who had taken a keen interest in Carue's ability to drink from a straw.

Nami turned to look at Vivi as her face split into a wide grin. "Being on this ship sure makes you lose the will to even worry, doesn't it?" She asked.

Vivi paused, glancing back to her, and then back to the guys, and then finally up at the bright blue sky above her. "Yes," Vivi admitted, smiling gently, "It is quite relaxing…"

Said relaxation was interrupted by Sanji calling out "Hey, look! It's a dolphin!"

Truth be told, a lot of these parts of the manga were pretty fuzzy for Buggy. He wasn't a walking One Piece encyclopaedia, after all. Still, even if he had been completely prepared for what he was about to see, he would not be prepared, as contradictory as that statement may be.

A dolphin that rivalled _Laboon _in size had leaped out of the water and was now staring down at them as the sea around them thrashed violently at its magnitude.

"IT'S FREAKIN' HUGE!" Mr. 9 yelled dramatically as he leaped up, did a backflip and fell down, clutching his face in shock.

"LET'S RUN AWAY!" Luffy yelled to resounding cheers of "AYE-AYE, CAPTAIN!" as the crew all ran around the ship, doing their part to escape and laughing all the while.

"I can't hear you." Buggy mumbled to himself, a smirk beginning to form on his face.

* * *

Finally, after a few days of travel, the Straw Hats were graced with the presence of the next island in the Grand Line: Little Garden. The sight was met with cheer from the entire crew, even Laboon, who let out a "**BUOOOOOOOOH!**" of excitement.

"We should be careful…" Vivi said, "I'm worried about what Miss All-Sunday said about this island"

"Y-Y-You don't think there are actual monsters here, do you?" Usopp asked, his knees quivering as he looked to Buggy, who simply shrugged.

"D-D-Definitely not, right?" Mr. 9 mumbled, knees quivering equally as much as he shuffled closer to an indifferent Zoro.

"Beats me," Sanji said, taking a drag of his cigarette, "but we gotta stock up on some food pretty soon. That last town needed Laboon's meat for a reason."

As the Merry headed inland, Usopp and Mr. 9 looked around at their new surroundings fervently, probably determining which direction would be the easiest to run in.

"So this is Little Garden…" Luffy said, frowning thoughtfully, "It seems really big for something called 'Little Garden'. Whoever named it must have been real stupid!"

"_Rich, coming from you._" Every member of the crew thought in unison, staring at him with deadpan expressions. They were then distracted from their distraction by a shrill screech that seemed to forgo the ears and enter the soul directly, filling it with a massive hatred for whatever stupid bird just made the noise.

"WHAT WAS THAT JUST NOW?!" Nami yelled, covering her ears as she looked up at the sky in shock.

"Terrified Nami is so cute!" Sanji gushed, gazing at Nami with a love-struck expression on his face. "Don't worry, it's just a normal bird. And even this island is nothing but your average jungle!" He reassured her confidently.

Before Nami could question this, a massive noise, like an exploding volcano, echoed throughout the entire island and saw the jaws of most of the crew, sans the monster trio, drop in shock.

"DOES THIS SOUND LIKE YOUR AVERAGE JUNGLE?!" Nami yelled again, at Sanji this time, who revelled in the attention.

"Oh hey, a tiger." Luffy remarked absentmindedly, pointing at a tiger over on the land, which promptly collapsed, covered in blood.

"That is definitely NOT normal!" Mr. 9 declared, jumping up and doing a full 360-degree spin.

Usopp nodded in agreement, "Alright, then it's decided. We are not to step foot on this island!"

"Let's just quietly wait on our ship, and leave the very second our log pose finishes recording!" Nami agreed, "After all, we have to hurry to Alabasta as fast as possible." Almost instinctively, she looked over at Luffy, who didn't appear to have heard anything his navigator said. There was a grin forming on the captain's face, one that brought a certain king to mind. A grin that yearned for adventure.

"Sanji! Prepare a lunchbox!" Luffy demanded eagerly.

"A lunchbox?" Sanji asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, a pirate lunchbox! I smell adventure ahead!"

Nami whirled around and closed in on Luffy, leaning forwards to yell at him, "WAIT JUST A SECOND! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?"

"On an adventure!" Luffy replied happily, "Shishishi! Wanna come along?"

"I'd like to come along." Vivi said pleasantly, walking over to him. He responded with an energetic nod as he bounced up and down, waiting for Sanji to finish making his lunchbox.

"EVEN YOU?!" Nami exclaimed in surprise, staring wide-eyed at Vivi.

"Yes… just standing around here doing nothing is only going to make me think about my worries again. So I may as well try to clear my head until the Log Pose finishes recording. Besides, I'll be fine! I have Carue by my side, after all." Vivi smiled as she added the last part. Carue did not smile.

"If you're going, then I will join you Miss We-Vivi!" Mr. 9 declared proudly, trying to do a backflip but falling flat on his face due to his shaking knees.

Once lunchboxes and drinks were ready, the quartet departed the ship with varying levels of enthusiasm:

"ALRIGHT, LET'S GO!"

"We'll be back!"

"PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE, CAPTAIN LUFFY!"

After watching them head off, Buggy glanced over and saw Zoro and Sanji talking heatedly with each other, right before they both went their separate ways into the thick jungle.

"Okay!" Buggy said happily, "now that everyone's gone, wanna hear about the secrets of this island?"

Usopp and Nami, who had both been crying together, instantly stood to attention, zooming right over to him.

"Are there really monsters here?!" Usopp demanded, his eyes darting around fearfully.

"Eh, nothing Luffy can't kill and have Sanji cook. The real secret of this island comes from the name, since…" Buggy tried to sound confident. His plan had been to woo the Straw Hats and earn their protection, after all. But yet again, no amount of planning for an impossible situation could prepare one for the impossible. And watching a man the size of a house step out from the trees and grin down at him was, in his opinion, a good enough reason to scream like a little girl.

**Please leave any comments or criticism in the reviews below!**


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